Today, for some unknown reason, a 9th grade male student sang that song about me when I said I was coming to assist him. The song brought me back to my elementary school days when we used to sing as teachers tried to control our behavior before assemblies. We’d often crackle through “This Land is Your Land,” “He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands” and “Michael Row the Boat Ashore.” (I’m still not sure why Mike’s rowing what such a hallelujah moment and set to song…and if you know, please enlighten me…but I digress.) The point is, I’m not sure most kids know these folk songs. I’m guessing someone well-meaning adult decided these songs were too political or religious to sing in school, but I can’t help yearn to belt out “Red River Valley,” “Polly Wolly Doodle” or “If I Had a Hammer.” It could because as I’ve noted before Pete Seeger’s songs are in my soul. (He was my first crush based upon a picture of him on an album and his voice coming from my 33 rpm LP.) I can’t help but wonder, how long Pete will still be with us and if our eventual loss of his body on earth will also lead to dust covering his life’s work. Not if I can help it, my friends. Not while I can still crackle out a tune or two. Wait for my songs…his songs, our songs…as I come around the mountain.

Creative Journal - Acrylic on Paper

Okay, so I’ve been away…but not in a foreign land, or planet, not really. I took November off from my normal routine and I wrote a draft of a novel for NaNoWriMo. That is, National Novel Writing Month brought to the world by Chris Baty, further proof to the universe that one man’s quirky passion can light a firestorm of creativity.

The good news is I finished. A Winner in NaNo is one who writes at least 50,000 words in a month. I capped at 55,553 or something like that. I’m still begging my closest friends and loved ones to read it, because I think it can be the groundwork for something publishable one day. However, I hold no illusions of life after publication. I’m only slightly bitter about the knowitall “I’ve been published, who are you, lowly blogger” tone I’ve heard from time to time. I truly believe those with real talent are far more humble than that.

Enough about writing, and on to my whole truth. I have stopped dancing. I never found a dance teacher. I have a day job that sucks away too many hours for too little of what I need most. Sure money and recognition would be fab, but what I really need is… well, let’s say it doesn’t exist in the same galaxy as my day job. So, I’m going in…my own mind and spirit, that is. I’ve started knitting again, painted a background for a studio painting, and begun a creative journal/workbook. Maybe when my mind and heart dance again, my feet will too.

My friend Dawn Clare spoke with  me recently and told me I needed to maximize my income by aligning my bliss with my daily life. In other words, if I hit the lottery tomorrow, it isn’t a surprise I’d live differently. If aliens abducted me and gave me choice to either die or live a whole new life in a new place of my dreams, I would make more than a few changes (but either way, I’d miss my loved ones very much in my new celestial home).

The day hubby and I wed he wore a film T-shirt under his dress shirt. It was “The Day the Earth Stood Still.” The alien wasn’t really scary. In fact, he was pretty benign by today’s standards. I can’t help but wonder if the evil monsters in my life would be negated and neutralized into nothingness if I simply switched gears. I’m pretty sure I’d start to dance (and sing) again if I did something I always wanted instead of playing it safe and working a day job that isn’t exactly heaven on earth. Safe sucks. Big time.

At the beginning of September, Patricia Moreno, of IntenSati/Sati Life put up a challenge to readers of her blog to try to lose that “last 10 lbs” that many say they want to lose. I signed up, knowing I have certainly more than that I’d like to release from my body. Well, today was my weigh-in for the month, and I didn’t make it. I did remove 5 lbs, though. I admit without her challenge, I probably would have said, “Oh, Mel, don’t worry about the pounds, just keep dancing, working and you’ll get there someday.” However, for me, the truth is someday never comes. I have four file cabinet drawers full of events gone-by or ones to spend time on “later” and the truth is, 90% of what is in there needs just just GO! Tonight I recycled at least a ream of paper, and I let those papers I’ve been hanging on to “just in case” exit my life so I’ll have room and energy to focus on what I desire now.

My life road map leads in many directions, but the destinations I reach are all because I made a conscious choice and took the path to get there. This past month I didn’t find a dance teacher, but I bought several dance videos and shoes and began my practice. That means I’m still on the path and plan to reach my destination. I removed 5 lbs of my body weight and I earned my Spencer Pilates instructor certification, and those goals are in line with learning to dance as being a healthy weight and having a strong core are essential for dancers. I’m clear that my intention, combined with right action and positive self-expectation will get me to my destination. So, dear friends, Where will your road map lead you this month?

I’m finding my adult mind has all kinds of preconceptions about what I can and cannot do with my body. I’m fascinated with this because I don’t have the same mental road blocks about learning or emotions. I’ve never said to myself, “Oh, I can’t learn that,” or “I could never learn to love ….” but regularly my inner Oscar the Grouch pipes up and says, “Well, of course he can do that! He’s built that way,” or “She’s skinny, and moving 100 lbs is far less work.” These are my excuses, my hurdles to overcome.

Action Step

We have a new addition to our family. We rescued a bunny that some one “set free” to fend for herself in a neighborhood full of dogs. We named her Olive, after Kristin Chenowith’s character Olive Snook in “Pushing Daisies,” because she’s spunky, sweet, adoring and has dark eyes that look like shiny black olives (and yes, that’s her fuzzy little face above this post). So, my solution is whenever I begin letting Oscar grumble in, I stop and think of Olive. Nothing stops her creativity, energy and verve. She’s all that is perfect and wonderful about life. She pirouettes, slides across the floor, stumbles, popcorns in the air and keeps on hopping until she’s conked out from exhaustion. Then, I remind myself, I can be Olive or Oscar, and as much as I have a soft spot for the grungy crumudgeon, I rather be like her.

Coming Soon!

There is one more thing I do to silence Oscar, I keep seeking new ways to be active and creative that match who I am now, so I can be who I desire to be in the future, and having fun along the way. Next Thursday I’ll be trying my first NIA Technique class. I’ll keep you posted.

Today’s post is hyper-brief (for me at least). Wanted to say, my dancing shoes aren’t collecting dust, but I am doing lots of Pilates to help build my core to make all the dancing easier. It is helping, and I lost another pound. No ballet teacher yet, so I’m still going solo (with my NY City Ballet dvds). It’ll all work out in the end. I’m sure. Thanks for checking in on me!

Perhaps my first dancer was also my first teacher: Mom. She did ballet on pointe as a child in a time when most didn’t progress slowly up from slippers to pointe, but just dove in the first year. She was an athletic, strong girl in a time when ballet was thought to add ladylike qualities to a tomboy. As far as I know, she only danced one year. She still remembers her recital costume – green and yellow with a fur-trimmed tutu – and that she danced to a song called “Glow worm,” which she can still sing bits of decades later.

Today’s post is in honor of Mom. (Who is also named Patricia, by the way.) Happy Birthday, and thank you for being my first dancer, first teacher and best friend, always.

To paraphrase Alice Cooper, “Welcome to my daydream. I Think You’re Gonna Like it. I think you’re gonna feel that you belong.” (Hey, one guy’s nightmare is another’s daydream. Right? I mean, check him out on The Muppets. That’s the bomb!) Thanks to my most awesome BlogHer roomie you can now see I have a new blog theme. It is fairly naked and straight forward. Works well with my attitude and creative side and most of all, makes me smile. Hope you like it too.

Oh, and I did the NY City Ballet dvd2 warm-ups and floor exercises this morning. I’m not letting my roomie be the only one to get Thin by 10.

At the risk of sounding like an 80s throwback, I know can say I official Rock It. That is, I own a pair of Capezio Dansneakers by that name and I’ve made it through one entire dance workout in them. Now, take this recommendation for what it is worth, since I’m no delicate dancer (yet) but I’ve got to say my arches loved me a whole lot more when I wore these to do my NY City Ballet Workout tonight than they did when I tried to do it barefoot. Sometimes it simply makes sense to spend the dough, and be nice to your body…especially when you think of the feats that you expect your feet to complete.

Patricia McBride

There isn’t a ballet studio in my neighborhood. I’m still struggling to find a teacher, although there are at least two possibilities that I should hear about in the next few weeks. My “next door” is more metaphorical, made possible through the virtual neighborhood. I did a bit of research today and found out that the prima ballerina whose work I love lives only an hour or so away. I’m talking about Patricia McBride, in Charlotte, NC! I could actually get in my little car and buzz up the highway for tea with her, if she knew me. That’s what I call inspiration!

I find that oftentimes I make little mental excuses for myself, “Oh, you’re in Greenville, SC, honey. No one expects you to actually learn to really dance, dear.” By thinking such things I have an out in case I quit or worse, fail miserably. Now that I know that Ms. McBride is the associate artistic director of the North Carolina Dance Theatre (her husband Jean-Pierre Bonnefoux is the President and Artistic director), and a new facility is being erected (and rumored to have her name on it someway, somehow), I have more motivation than ever to DO (instead of try) in all earnestness. (If I may reference Yoda’s admonishment, “Do or do not. There is no try.”)

The bottom line is this, even if (G-d forbid) Ms. McBride said vile things about me (a fat chick wanting to learn how to dance), and we both go to our final resting place without ever meeting, I’m still making strides to be the dancer I could have been. Today I began using the NY City Ballet Workout dvd (part 1) and was surprised how much of it is like the yoga and Pilates I already know. I’m doing, and one day, I hope to thank Patricia for the inspiration, even if she doesn’t give a whit that at age 41 I finally learned to dance.